Jeremiah 29:11

" 'For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Jeremiah 29:11

This morning I did not want to get out of bed. I knew I needed to go to Mass, and had every intention to go, but I was sooooo tired. I said a quick prayer and grabbed my laptop to which I opened up my myspace and saw my daily Bible verse:

"If you keep from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."

Isaiah 58:13

Ok, so there was my sign...so, I roll out of bed, and get ready for Mass, but end up being about 5 minutes late due to hair issues. Anyway, I walk into St. B's and stand in the foyer since they had already started the 1st reading. I noticed an elderly woman leaning against the wall...she was speaking to another woman, and I could tell something was not quite right, but since it wasn't my business, I didn't bother to listen to their conversation....until I heard the younger woman ask the older woman if she wanted a chair. I happened to notice a chair in the room behind me, so I grabbed the chair and brought it out for the older woman. She was pale and out of breath. We got her some water and let her rest for a little while. She kept saying she was stupid for coming to Mass even though she didn't feel well. She said she would just sit a while and then leave, and when I heard that, I knew I had to step in to help. There was no way she could drive home...she was shaking! Another woman must have heard our conversation because she then came up to us and offered the woman (whose name I now know as Ursula) the opportunity for one of us to drive her home and the other would follow in a car to bring the other back. Ursula wouldn't have it, and finally gave in after our persistance. She really didn't want to be a bother, but we really didn't want to hear later on that something had happened to her.

To make a very long story short, we got Ms. Ursula home. She is a jewel. She did not want to be a bother to anyone, but at the same time needed someone there for her. Sadly she told me that although she had a son nearby, her inlaws did not really like her. This woman is 87 years old...who cares if they don't like her...they should still be there to take care of her! She kept worrying about us and whether or not we'd make it back to Mass, but I assured her that even if we didn't make it back to Mass in time, there were plenty of other services we could go to. If it hadn't been for the other woman taking me back to church, I think I could have spent all day with Ms. Ursula, just listening to her stories (she's from Austria). I let her know that if she wanted someone to bring communion to her, that I could give her name and number to the parish office. She wasn't sure about that, but finally gave in since she hadn't been to Mass in quite some time due to not feeling well.

So, my plan this morning was simple...go to Mass and go home...that was it. Obviously, God had other plans for me. And although we did make it back to Mass in time for communion, even though I missed the readings and everything else, I still feel like I was at church this morning...only this time, it was all about Ms. Ursula.

Distractions...

Last night. or rather this morning, around 12:30AM, an alarm belonging to a car right outside my window went off. I was sound asleep. After what seemed like forever, but in reality was maybe 2 minutes, it finally ceased. As I began to drift off to dreamland, it went off again! I got out of bed to investigate, and there sat a maroon Maxima with it's lights flashing and alarm blazing. I thought that maybe it was a cat that set the alarm off, and soon enough, the alarm stopped. Praise God! You see, I had to get up early to join my running club, GCRC, for our weekly group run. I hadn't run in quite a while, and was anxious to get back out there.

So anyway, I got back into bed, closed by eyes, and lo and behold, the alarm started back up again. And proceeded to go off every 2-3 minutes until about 5AM! Needless to say, I did not get any sleep...by the time the alarm finally shut off (or maybe the owners finally realized it was their car), it was time for me to get ready to run.

I begrudgingly got out of bed, and got ready to meet my group. Had a decent 5 mile run/walk (ok, mostly walk), and came home ready to get my nap ... before heading out to tutor for the day...

And as I drifted off into dreamland once again, a bird sat perched outside my window and decided to have an screeching contest with another bird. Needless to say, I'm not sleeping. As tired as I am, as much as I want to sleep, these noises, or distractions are keeping me from my long awaited slumber.

I wonder if that's what God feels like with us. There he is, sitting right beside us, with us at all times, patiently waiting for us to come to Him with our troubles, with our triumphs...and we keep getting distracted. Distracted by the car alarms and screeching birds of life. All he wants is us...he doesn't care how long it's been, or what we've been up to...he just want us.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting some earplugs to silence all those distractions...

What are you going to do?

I am changed...

I've been sitting here for the last few hours, trying to figure out how in the world I can express what this past weekend meant to me. You see, this weekend, I attended the St. John Vianney Women's ACTS Retreat. I went in not knowing a single solitary soul, and very unsure of what would happen over the course of the weekend.

Maybe you've been an avid reader of my blogs, and maybe this is the first time you've landed here. Regardless, know this. I've always been a woman of faith. I've always put my trust and cares in the Lord. Until this past year. The past year has been a rocky one, and although I didn't walk away completely, my heart was closed and angry. I would go to Mass at least once a month, but while I was there, my arms were crossed, and my spirit was asleep.

This weekend was truly a work of the Holy Spirit. I am forever changed. I'm back. I'm the woman I once knew, only I'm not. Yes, I'm still the care-free crazy wacky woman I've always been, but now, rather than try to control everything myself, I'm putting it all in God's hands.

Jeremiah 29:11 says
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "

I don't know what God has in store for me, but whatever it is, I'm done trying to figure out for myself.

Psalm 86:15 says
"Lord you are a merciful and gracious God"

And that He is...I have a peace within me that I haven't had in a VERY long time. It's unexplainable. Actually, it's not. It's the holy spirit, working in me.

I will say this- if you have the opportunity to go to an ACTS retreat, whether it's Men's, Women's, or Teen's, GO. For those of you who keep saying you could use an Awakening experience, this is it...Not the same talks, and not the same surprises, but it's phenomenal none the less.

Kidnapped for my own good...

Today I was kidnapped. My friend Rebecca came and picked me up, then picked up our friend Pat, and then we went out to lunch. Ok, so maybe not kidnapped, but they helped me realize a few things.

Just because you ask for help doesn't mean you're inconveniencing anyone. If they couldn't help, they would say no.

Sometimes, offered help isn't just about you, it's about the person offering the help.

Today was the first day in about a week that I didn't worry about my car. And today, I go some great news...the insurance company is paying for my car! I have to pay the deductible obviously, but, I'm actually saving about $300 (from the first quote)

I'm so freakin happy right now! I'm truly blessed!!!

Thank you for the prayers and well wishes!!! You all are wonderful!

Update: When it rains it pours

WOW!!!

This morning at 7am, I took my car to yet ANOTHER car place to get a 3rd opinion. I sat there for about 2 hours while they checked it out, and finally I heard my name called. Only this time, they didn't have the estimate. They wanted me to go back to the garage and look at the underside of my car...

Boy, I must have some very tired guardian angels...because my car is in bad shape right now.
A few months ago, I drove over a metal box (I think) in the road. It was either drive over it, or hit one of the two 18-wheelers on both sides of me, or get seriously rear-ended by the big truck behind me...I figured the metal box was the lesser of the evils and would do it again in a minute. Well, when that happened, and I heard the loud THUNK, I knew that I had hit it, and immediately pulled over to investigate any damage. I didn't see any damage, nor did I see any leaking. I drove around for a few days to see if anything sounded weird, but I didn't....so with that, I went on my merry way.

Until Thursday, when I went in for my yearly inspection, which I failed, and was given 15 days to repair my car.

On first inspection, all car place 1 found wrong was the cracked exhaust manifold.
On second inspection, car place 2 said cracked manifold, catalytic convertor, gasket, and muffler.
And today, the third inspection at car place 3, here's what's wrong with my car:cracked gasket, cracked catalytic convertor, cracked exhaust manifold, cracked subframe (which could completly tear up the brand new tires I just bought), cracked muffler, AND cracked fuel tank (HELLO...do you see how dangerous this could be???)

The mechanics all came around and were asking me how long I had been driving my car with all this damage, and I said I didn't know, because I didn't. But, they also said that I was incredibly lucky that nothing had happened to me or my car.

So, for those of you praying for me, THANK YOU!!! I know that everything happens for a reason, and I don't even want to THINK about what could have happened, what might of happened, or what didn't happen (although I'm thanking GOD nothing happened.) My guardian angels must be tired from guarding me so much....

Now unfortunately, the estimate is now 5x the original quote, but I'm hoping my insurance will cover it. We'll see...

When it rains it pours...

Warning...this is a rant. you are now warned.

so, last thursday, i took my car in to get inspected before my road trip to san antonio and austin. i didn't want anything to keep me from going. well, obviously i didn't go because something did happen. i failed my inspection....i needed 2 new tires, and my exhaust manifold was cracked, which caused me to fail the emissions part of the inspection. the guy at the shop gave me a quote, and i told him i'd think about it.

of course, i immediately call my dealership to see what they would say. they asked me to bring my car in today so they could look at it. i dropped my car off at 7:30 this morning, and at noon they were finally done. they ended up finding a whole slew of things wrong with my car. now, it's not only the exhaust manifold, but the catalytic convertor, the pipes connecting it, the muffler, and the gasket (although besides the gasket, everything else is engine parts....isn't the gasket part of the oil system? i'm a little confused on that part...) what started out as an issue that will cost me a pretty penny, but something i can afford, has now turned into this huge thing that i'm not really sure I can afford...

and then, to top it all off...someone hit my car today while i was at sylvan. they left their pretty red paint and a nice scratch on my bumper. they didn't even have the decency to leave a note.

i'm pissed.

i had FINALLY gotten to a place where i felt comfortable. i worked the first part of the summer so that i could have some money saved up, and now i'm completely drained once again.
i'm SO LOOKING FORWARD to this retreat. i know this is just the devil's way of bringing me down, but that's not going to happen...because you know what? there's a silver lining to this dark cloud over my head.

silver lining 1- at least i have a car that runs
silver lining 2- at least i have the cash to cover the majority of the repairssilver lining 3- at least i have friends who are willing to drive me around in a pinch (thanks jen for picking me up and letting me vent)
silver lining 4- at least i have family who will offer help even if i don't want it
silver lining 5- at least i was able to work summer school to have the money to pay for this, because otherwise i wouldn't have had anything saved up!!!

so yeah, devil, try as you might to bring me down, it's not going to happen...yeah, i'm pissed, but i'm thankful that i'm able to take care of all this stuff

this is going to make my retreat all the better this weekend :-)

The Dating Bill of Rights...

I came across the following while piddling around on the web. Thought it was interesting and fun to share...

Enjoy!~d

Your dating bill of rights
By Nina Malkin

We, the people — in particular, those socially active seekers of romance, companionship and pleasure — deserve certain inalienable rights when it comes to charting the waters of the dating scene. And so, in honor of Independence Day (you're looking for love, not surrendering your sense of self), here they are:

You have the right to ask. If you meet a person of interest, you are free to ask him/her out. Sounds simple—but until you fully embrace this concept, you may hinder yourself socially. Asking someone out is not gender-exclusive (i.e., women can and should do it). And no one is out of your league (the worst he/she can say is no thanks). So unless the guy/girl you've got designs on is in a relationship or part of a celibate religious order, ask away!

You have the right to the jitters. Getting to know a new person can be nerve-wracking. Pre-date anxiety is so common, it's a safe bet the person you're sweating about seeing is doing the same about you. It's all right to not only feel it, but admit it. Indeed, saying, "I'm a little nervous about tonight" can work as an icebreaker.

You have the right to punctuality. It's a date, not a "stop by whenever…" open house. Expect to be met or picked up on time (so be ready or at the rendezvous spot on time), or called in advance if delays are unavoidable. Consider enacting a 15-minute rule. If a date is a quarter of an hour late, don't wait!

You have the right to free speech. Yes, you want this person to like you, but that doesn't mean you should alter your ideas or opinions to voice what you think your date wants to hear. Speak your mind! That said, make sure you encourage your date to speak freely, too. No one wants to hang out with a conversation hog.

You have the right to fun. Approach dating like a job interview, and a good time will not be had by all. While the impulse to ascertain someone's long-term commitment potential is natural, it's a bit self-defeating in the early stages of dating. Go on activity-oriented dates, where you can get a vibe about a person, as opposed to doing entirely talk-centric stuff that can make both of you feel scrutinized and squirmy. Think brief, planned encounters initially instead of random marathons. Keep conversations light on topics like shared interests (rather than delving into each other's psyches and romantic histories right away).

You have the right to undivided attention. A date is by and large a one-on-one activity. It's not about two people and a gadget. Or two people and all of his/her friends at the bar. If the individual you're out with constantly checks email or takes cell phone calls — or is so distracted by others in the room that you feel ignored — end the date early and move on.

You have the right to bare arms—or long sleeves. Wear jeans and a T-shirt—or something fancier if it makes you feel more on top of your game. The point is: Dress comfortably for dates, donning an outfit you look good and feel good in. You'll come off as confident—and be more naturally desirable. Of course, do aim to be occasion-appropriate (that slinky evening gown might not do for his backyard barbecue; shorts and a tank top won't work for a candlelit dinner).

You have the right to kiss. Physical attraction is what makes dating different from other relationships. If you're both feeling it, go for it! And that applies whether it's date 1 or 10. There's no set timetable. And if you're feeling it but aren't sure whether the other person is, you can always say, "I really want to kiss you right now," and see what reaction you get. Just keep in mind that kissing can be a gateway display of affection—as things progress, be prepared for safe sex.

You have the right to follow-up. This is not only a right, it's a courteous custom that nice people ascribe to. And somebody's got to place the follow-up call/email. If you had an enjoyable time and would like to see this person again, don't play games about how many days you're "supposed" to wait, get in touch.

You have the right to cancel. If you're having a crappy day, feel a cold coming on or get slammed with a project at work, it's perfectly reasonable to contact your date the day of your plans, explain your situation, and ask for a rain check. However, canceling because something or someone better came along, while not a criminal offense, may be a karmic one.

You have the right to bow out (and break up). Occasionally, you may find yourself on a date from hell. Trust your gut on this, and cash in that "get out of date free" card. If the date is going badly (and especially if the person you're with makes you feel at all uncomfortable or unsafe) you're by no means obligated to see it through. The same applies to relationships that turn out to be not what you want. Don't "hang in there" because you don't wish to propagate hurt feelings. Be courteous, be quick—and get out! A "Thank you; I need to be going in a minute" on a first date or "It's been nice getting to know you, but I don't see our relationship progressing" after a couple of get-togethers should work well.

Nina Malkin is the author of An Unlikely Cat Lady: Feral Adventures in the Backyard Jungle.

David vs. Goliath...

The Lord is not through with you yet. God will send the rain when He's ready. You need to prepare your field to recieve it.

Bloom where you are planted...

The Lord said 365 different times, do not fear...

Did you ever hear about David and Goliath? Now, I am by no means a Bible scholar. I'm not even sure where my Bible is (don't worry, I will find it soon). But what I remember is that David was this scrappy kid who took on the bully named Goliath. They prepared to fight and Goliath came to town dressed in armor with all his weapons, and David showed up with a sling shot. Goliath was probably 50 times the size of David, and David didn't care. He came to fight his heart out, and that he did. And with his sling shot, he won. David, the scrawny scrappy kid that everyone thought would be pummelled into the ground, beat Goliath.

What's your Goliath? What is it in your life that seems overbearing and towering and stronger, bigger, and meaner than anything you know? Sometimes we have our Goliath moments, but most of the time, I think we are more like David. scrappy and scrawny, with nothing more than a slingshot to defend ourselves.

Guess what: the Lord will not send you into a battle without the proper armor. He will not abandon you. He will send the rain, but do you really think that you can just stand there and expect him to do all the work? You have to show your faith! Just standing there and looking at the sky won't do any good. Don't you need an umbrella? Won't that show the Lord that you are faithful in His promises and power? You can't keep asking for the rain, and looking at the sky waiting for it to come before you bust out with your umbrella. You have to PREPARE for it!

I just got through watching a movie called "Facing the Giants". It's the inspiration for this blog. It's not a movie that was released out into the everyday media (that I'm aware of). Yeah, the acting is kind of cheesy in the beginning, but as the movie goes on, you forget about the acting and start paying attention to the message. David vs. Goliath...facing the giants. Whatever the giants are in your life, face them head on, with the faith of God in your heart, your spirit, and your mind. Know that through HIM, ALL things are possible.